Don’t You Dare Go Hollow
By Sebastian Vice
I stumbled on the phrase: Don’t you dare go hollow while looking for information on Elden Ring (the newest installment from From Software—notorious for games of an unforgiving nature). I subsequently fell down a YouTube and Reddit rabbit hole. I read many posts, and watched several videos from heartwarming stories from people claiming Dark Souls lifted them out of depression, suicidal ideation, and anxiety. These individuals were open about their crippling depression, and finding solace in playing these games. Frequently, the poster would sign off with a message to others: don’t you dare go hollow.
Souls-like games are brutal (the world is dark, and the gameplay unforgiving). The world is defined by death, and decay, and you’re relentlessly punished for mistakes. It’s almost as if the subtext of the world is: get the fuck out. These games don’t hold your hand. They beat your ass again and again and again.
I also heard the phrase: Dark Souls heals souls. This is odd, right? At first glance, why would a game hostile to your existence assist in mending a broken spirit? Well, let’s explore how. And while I’d never suggest a game as a pure substitute for other things, I’d argue such games could have a positive impact on one’s mental health.
What does “going hollow” mean? For this essay, the in-game meaning isn’t important. Extracting the phrase to non-game worlds, a plausible interpretation is: losing hope, losing a sense of purpose (in the game it’s much the same). And when a person says: don’t you dare go hollow, they usually refer to not quitting the game. Rather, it’s a call to push on, and not give up. I submit: don’t you dare go hollow is also a real world call to not only retain hope, but also shows that in pushing through a punishing game, you can push through the punishing game of life.
The game is relentless.
Life is relentless.
If you can conquer the game, there’s hope you can conquer life.
You may still wonder: how the can something so relentless, so brutal, so unforgiving heal someone? How can a series/style of game designed to punish every mistake, exploit every weakness, and practically beg you to give up, pull someone out of depression? It seems counter-intuitive at first glance, but first approximations are usually not calibrated correctly.
Let’s ask this. How does someone reach a state of depression, anxiety, or suicidal ideation? Many reasons, but at their core, life has a way of beating people down. Mental states such as severe depression or suicidal ideation, far from being a sign of weakness, is a sign one has been strong too long. Sometimes reality is just too real. And most importantly, the deep, heavy depression, is one where you feel powerless. You probably have a low self-esteem. You may not want to commit suicide, but in my deepest depressions nothing felt good. I enjoyed nothing. I thought: Fuck the world, fuck everything, I’m going to sit in a corner and do nothing until I die. Most importantly, your sense of agency and self-efficacy has been obliterated.
I felt powerless. I felt hollow.
This is where Souls-style games lift you up, after beating you down.
Suppose you never played Dark Souls, but decide to. I promise you one thing: you will die hundreds of times. You’ll have a rough go of it. If you stick with it, you’ll get to the first boss, and unless you’re really good at games, he’ll stomp you over and over. You’ll want to give up. But then things will click. And you’ll beat him.
How Dark Souls heals souls? Well, when you beat a boss, you know you earned that shit. Given how the game is structured, you know you didn’t get lucky. No, you cultivated a set of skills, learned the bosses move set, and played with such skill that luck played only a minimal role in your success. There was just perseverance coupled with skill and learning from past mistakes (sure, yeah, you can cheese bosses—but let’s pretend you don’t).
What would beating a Dark Souls boss do to your self-esteem? To your notions of self-efficacy? Wouldn’t both, in all probability, increase? If you push through, even just the first major boss, what has the game shown you? The game has presented you a creature that you might have thought unbeatable. Just too goddamn hard. You might have thought there was no way you could best such a foe. But you did. You went toe to toe with one tough bastard, were given no mercy, and you bested him.
You beat a seemingly unbeatable boss. Hell, can’t you do the same with life?
Dark Souls heals souls because it shows you you’re far more powerful than you think. You started off thinking you were pathetic, weak, and powerless. In beating a Dark Souls’ boss, you experience just how powerful you really are. Now extrapolate to real life.
Do we see now why games like Dark Souls can heal souls? They can show that severely depressed people are far more capable of dealing with life’s tribulations than they otherwise thought. They don’t offer therapy, or arguments. No, they do something much better. They show that you underestimate your own ability to take on the trials of life. Like in Dark Souls, you might have thought the problems in your life were unsolvable. Maybe some are. But maybe, just maybe, you’re stronger and more resilient than you thought.
In this way, Soul’s games are very Zen like. They are a kind of direct pointing. Nobody is giving you an argument for why you’re stronger than you think you are. The game points, in its own way, and shows that you are.
In a world where coddling and hand holding are par the course, we see an escalation of anxiety and depression. Perhaps this isn’t what people need. Maybe, just maybe, people need to be pushed and challenged so they actually feel good about accomplishing something.
A participation trophy does nothing for a person. Pushing them to be better at something does. And this is what games such as Dark Souls does. At their best, they increase a person’s sense of self-agency in the world. They make a person feel empowered, not disempowered. They don’t make you feel like a poor little puppet stuck in a mobius strip of victimhood.
I’m not claiming a game, or series/style of games, will solve a person’s life problems completely. No game is a magic pill. That would be silly. But such games have the capacity to show a person they are far more equipped to deal with the brutal and unforgiving world than they would have otherwise thought.
If you’re like me, and you struggle regularly with crippling depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation, why not give a Souls-like game a shot?
And when you get your ass beat for the 20th time, remember: Don’t you dare go hollow.